At least, for me..I really don't think so..
For anyone who comes across this page and reading this..please..you should just step yourself in someone else's shoes and imagine..
You know that "I love you" doesn't mean anything when it's so hard to say it out from your lips..that makes your other half have to ask the questions every now and then,"do you love me..?"..and "how much..?"..that seems n sounds more stupid than ever..
You know that "I always cherish you", "I treasure our moments together", "you are someone special in my life", "I'm proud to have you as my girlfriend/boyfriend in my life"..those are all lies when there's absolutely no picture of you together being posted on the wall..no sweet names..no Darling..no Honey..no Sweetheart that sounds the same as it feels..no nothing ever shown in public as a clear official action, in quite a direct expression telling the world that "we are together"..or "he/she is mine".
Love can never lie..
When you say that,"we don't need to show it to the world".."love is only me and you"..all these..in time..are proven quite ironic and sarcastic kinda' lies..so, keep it to yourself.. Your face says it all..your actions clears it all..your words will never be louder than your actions..and sadly..many of you didn't realize..it's an insult to the other half..more hurting than telling the truth..that "I don't have those feelings with/for you".."I don't think I can click with you that way"..or "you're not the one I'm looking for"..and so to put a fullstop to the hurting just right there..but lies drag all the hurting on and on, and even hurting more and more. Honesty never hurt as much as lies..never..
It is very spontaneous and natural in behavior, words and actions..that when you love somebody, you'd love to go places with this person..be seen everywhere, getting excited with plans doing just about anything with this person..so naturally show that 'he/she is mine'..that kinda thing..and we are happy together..make all the effort to talk and connect in any way possible..(*owh come'on..it's a freakin'modern electronic world we're livin' in, ain't we..one click and you'll see and talk to each other face to face..)..doesn't matter if you're half way around the world from where he/she is. When you're keen, you'll make effort however..but when you're not, all you make are excuses after excuses.. and the most ironic thing is..soon after that, when there's a new relationship you've started..you've revealed and proven all your lies and excuses by your actions..by just doing all the things you've said you're not, that you won't, and so forth..and so forth..
So..with whoever whether you like it or not, you love or not..just don't lie. It makes you look just as stupid as you said you're not. Most of all, your ego doesn't work..and will never work. *lol...!^^
So..what about me..?
Looking back at my previous relationships, I have no regrets of putting them to and end, cos it's often proven that my decisions are right. The future I couldn't see or no longer see..well..I really should turn my head elsewhere isn't it..and some are indirectly giving me negative feelings and it's like toxic to my soul..I'll have to find a better way to discard...*hm...one fine day..I'll have to clear my trash can...*haihszzz...
So I said to Crystal last night when she called n talked to me over the phone.."It's not good for your soul, Crystal..if he doesn't accept and keep you hanging for months, that's already a negative indication. There's nothing to wait on..no use holding on. If he didn't feel you're not there, he didn't cherish your presence either..so, let go..no use crying.."..poor girl..
Over the years, what I always find is..honesty and straightforwardness somehow always give unpleasant feelings no matter little or so much, but in return, it always rewards you with a truthful and trustworthy relationship that holds for stronger and longer if not for life. That is one of those precious things money can never buy. But remember..do have some mercy. Never say or do things that you can never imagine taking it yourself..At least, this is one of those things I do keep reminding myself time after time..in case I'd forget.. *owh...I'm growing so old now.. *(~_~!)
It's another silent night of mourning..this time of the year..every year..for the eleventh now. Breathing so deep..only this silent can give me peace..no tears could wash away the shades of grey on my window..my silent window..
Crystals In The Eyes
Lov.. there's no need to cry
the kite disappeared too high up in the sky
cut the string..the storm is coming
let go of your hands or you'll die..
Read those faces of clouds and winds
if they come as shelter or breeze
or if they blow the dust into your eyes
or let the sun burn your skin..
Cover yourself and walk away
come fly again another day
for yours a kite will soar up high
with colours seen though the sky is grey..
~ outside my misty window pane..~
6th January, 2014
Love is always obvious...so obviously shown in anything you say and do..
in those sunny sunshine smiles and colours on your brightened up face..
in your footsteps as you dance through the rhythm that helps you get by your every day life..
in your body language..
in your eyes..
..Love..
can never lie..
