In A Quest For Friendship..

I have a pen friend, and the only one I have.. for 15 years now. Ngah Chiann is a girl with such a soft voice. That's how I always remember her. How we have got to know each other? Hmm... There's a piece of proof I still keep with me here... Wait...


Hmm...here it is. Evanie was my name then.. created just for this pen-pal thingy. And I still remember how my Dad have reacted to this stupid idea. It is not that I'm not proud of my Chinese name, it's just a nick name for such kind of use.. and for strangers I barely know, etc.
I'm not using this name anymore, but it's still in a part of my signature. And Ellie was given by some of my Malay friends who find my Chinese name hard to pronounce. Ellie sounds closest to Yan Lih, a respectable name which have strong and bold characters in the meaning. I love my Chinese name. And there is no better name I'd choose to have.. a name given by my late father.

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This pen-pal thingy, It all started when I wrote a poem to the 'Talking Back" column in The Star newspaper. and was published on 15th January, 1993.. when I was at the age of 15.. not 16. It was written wrongly in the newspaper though.. Every time I went through this newspaper cutting that I still keep.. I'd have a good laugh at myself. 'Those were the years.. when I was writing this poem, I was 14, so young and innocent.' How much do I understand about life and future then? It's written in the poem. Even the house address does not exist anymore. The old kampung house have been demolished about 2 years ago to make way for an Indian temple.

Its a Secret

I saw a light way across the sea

sparkling like lots of secrets to tell me

it makes me longing for it

and keep trying hard to reach it.

But on the way to get it

I've got challenges to beat

cause we can't get anything straight away

and good things won't stay.

So I decided to do what I should do

I'll feel what I should feel

and I'll go the way I should go

cause present will pass

and the becoming will be

...the future.

-a vision of secrets-

at the age of 14

...This poem was written in a vision of some secrets in the future. I was working in Langkawi Island 4 years later after high school.. and it's when I was walking along the beach one night..I saw..there was a light way across the sea.. a light from the fishing boat.. far out at the sea. At that moment, I felt exactly how I felt whan I was writing this poem 4 years ago. And after all these years.. it have been proven.. how I have struggled through lots of challenges in my life. And that was the secret.. a little vision I have had.

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Back to my pen-friend, Ngah Chiann.. now a good friend of mine.. She was one of more than 20 pen-pals who have wrote in at that time. And after all these years.. she's the only one I have keep in touch with, first with letters.. after some years, we started talking through the phone.. and then when I came to college in KL in 1996.. we made a plan and met at 1Utama.. that's when there was only the old wing.. and the way to get there was by exchanging 2 busses from Taman Melawati. It's too expensive travelling by taxi as a student.. and LRT was only completed in 2002 or so.. I drove to Kepong to see her, though once in the blue blue moon since I have my own car.. and we have been in touch in these recent years with e.mails and msn...
Ngah Chiann is one of my truly loyal friend who have been with me all along..all through these years.. Ngah Chiann, Yeat Yue and some of my good friends since childhood...Friends such as they are... they're like some 'good wine under the moon'...once in a while. No matter how busy and how forgetful I might get at times because of the busyness of life and work.. I'd still take some time to remember and recall the memories..once in a while. And here.. I'd like to dedicate this page to all of them..especially Ngah Chiann...

"Thanks for being my friend all these years.. and may we have many..many years to come.."

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