For My Pa...

I have been thinking a lot about my Dad lately. 'Pa' is the name I used to call him, 'lou dau' would sounds much closer though a bit ill mannered, but now..I don't even have that chance to call him anymore..
My memories with Pa isn't always pleasant. I used to think that he is someone so hard to understand, stupborn and conservative. But after all these years trying to open my mind to accept my life as it is.. and trying to understand.. I somehow think Pa is like an old dictionary with all the words..as like all the lessons.. that you need to learn.."essential", I would say..You have to open it, flip and search through the pages to find the meanings and take some time to understand the usage of the words.. that isn't too hard actually.
Aren't most Fathers behave the same? They just have their own way to express their love.. that most of us just couldn't see till we've actually lost it. It is their pride, I would say... The pride that have made them the 'Father' as they are... The pride that have brought them far... made them stand tall and earned their respect..
I'd always respect my Pa as he was.. an example of a leadership I could never find elsewhere. He have always been the power that drives me.. pushed me so far till I have become what I am today.. and I am proud of it. Pa.. if only you could hear me...I'm sorry that I have been so late.. so late even to actually tell you how much I respect you and that I am thankful for the things you've done for me and this family.. Pa..this is for you..

Salute To My Pa..

Ever since I was little

I never have a teddy

"You don't need that to grow wiser"

Pa always said to me.

*

When I was at school

I wouldn't dare to fail a subject

I'm so afraid that if I do

Pa will pull the 'rotan' from his back.

*

I made my decision to art college

but I saw that sigh and frown

I said,"Let me make my choice...

Pa, I'll never let you down."

*

I struggled to be the best

as I step out and face the world

I often stand out of the rest

I wish Pa could see all my work.

*

As I look back through the years

the memories are strong as ever

lessons learned are really precious

"Thanks, Pa.. I'd never live a life of another."

-written on 9th June, 2008-

in memories of Pa

Fatherly love is often hard to see or understand. That's why..I'll always have my 'old dictionary' with me..as long as I live. It's 'essential', you know.....